Diary Of A Philadelphia Sports Fan: A Letter To God
Diary of a Philadelphia Sports Fan is a collection of my reflections to Philadelphia sporting news. I’ve been a Philadelphia sports fan my entire life, and the articles in this series will expose the severe ups and downs, terrible angst, overwhelming joy, and emotional nature of a Philadelphia sports fan.
Do you respond to letters? You’re God–all that all-knowing stuff and what not–so I’m going to assume you do.
Anyways, God, I’m not going to blame you–it is kind of your fault though–that I was born near Philadelphia. It’s not your fault that my Dad watches every Phillies’ game in the same spot on the couch or that my Dad’s dad still listens to every Phillies’ and Eagles’ game on his radio with the same, ratty Phillies’ hat. It’s not your fault that my first athletic memory is playing football in my front yard in a full Eagles’ uniform–helmet and pads included. It’s not your fault, God, but seriously? Seriously?
I guess you thought you were doing the right thing back in October of 1993. The Phillies were making a World Series run until Joe Carter–freaking Joe Carter! But you can’t just look at the one team, God. The Sixers, Eagles, and Flyers all had horrible seasons–25-57, 8-8, and 35-39-10 respectively.
You know what, God, despite the Phillies being the first professional team to 10,000 losses, the Sixers irrelevance since the A.I. era, the Flyers missing the 2012-2013 playoffs, and the Eagles waste of talent over the past two dismal seasons, I’m sure I’d never want to be a fan of any other sports city.
But enough of the blame game. What I really want to talk to you about is the 2013 NBA draft.
I’d like to start by thanking you for Sam Hinkie, who seemingly was your righthand man in the big basketball gym in the sky. It’s refreshing as a Philadelphia fan to see a General Manager that doesn’t waste high, valuable draft picks. It was a surprise to everyone watching the draft that You let Nerlens Noel drop to the sixth pick, but hey, You work in mysterious ways. You pulled a move from your old playbook and told Hinkie to rebuild. Maybe it’s not as grandiose as Noah’s arc, but Hinkie’s trade–Sixer’s All-Star Jrue Holiday for New Orleans Pelican’s draft pick, Noel, and a 2014 lottery pick–and selection of Michael Carter-Williams (11th overall) will surely save a few 76ers fans.
Noel looks to be a perfect fit for the ferocious Philly fans. He’s pure hustle and tenacity up-and-down the floor, a tremendous rebounder, an athletic specimen (6’11”, excellent speed and jumping ability), and a force as a shot blocker. While questions still remain with his injury (ACL tear while chasing down a block from behind) and his offensive ability, I’m happy You finally cut us a break. In addition, You gave us Carter-Williams, who–if he develops an above average shooting game–could fill in the gap Jrue Holiday left. We may not be good next season, but with the addition of a pure scorer, the future looks bright.
Now, God, all I need from You is Ryan Howard to start hitting the ball, Chip Kelly’s new offense to work, the Flyers to get a lockdown goalie, and plenty of parades down Broad Street and I’ll be happy. I really don’t think it’s too much to ask for.